You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July 2004.

Take the quiz: “Which American City Are You?”

San Francisco
Liberal and proud, you’ll live your lifestyle however you choose in the face of all that would supress you.

Wahell, who would a thunk it? All this and roots in the more conservative midwest. The committee in my head has a field day (almost every day.)

found through Bogners

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On Fire!

During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!”

The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.

The Baptists cried, “Where is the water?”

The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.

The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.

The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage.

The Jews posted symbols on the door hoping the fire would pass.

The Congregationalists shouted, “Every man for himself!”

The Fundamentalists proclaimed, “It’s the vengeance of God!”

The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.

The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no fire.

The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report.

The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.

BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize. Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via email and others spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown — but we thank them.

What do you want for dinner tomorrow?
Are you all signed up for your classes?
Do you know where you’ll be living?
When is your last day at the office?
What are you doing with your time off?
When do classes start?
What do you want?
Will you help me?
When is Mary coming back?
Wanna have lunch next week?
When are we knitting again?
Want to go to the ball game?
How are you?

Don’t care, really.
Yep: Christian Contemplation & Action; Methods in Christian Spirituality; Historical Development Christology. I’ll also be looking for a Spanish class and will be doing some work in mindfulness.
Staying put in the current convent (St. Rose).
July 30.
Big chores at Mom’s; visiting family and friends in near and far away places; reading; resting; laundry.
September 7.
Medium non-fat chai latte, no foam.
Of course.
July 30.
Yes, every single day.
Every single day. (Oh, you mean together! We’ll have to book it.)
Oh, yeah!
By the grace of God.

B.O.O.K.

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device (BOOK). It’s a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere–even sitting in an armchair by the fire–yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here’s how it works: Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper, each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder that keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. The user scans each sheet optically, registering information directly into his or her brain. A flick of the finger takes the user to the next sheet.

The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The “browse” feature allows the user to move instantly to any sheet and to move forward or backward as desired. Most BOOKs come with an “index” feature that pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows the user to open the BOOK to the exact place left in a previous
session–even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Portable, durable, and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you’re REAL nice, you’ll
tell them where you got it! www.MikeysFunnies.com

Our Sister Samuel’s funeral is tomorrow. She was an amazing woman. And if I could be one fraction (a very tiny fraction) like her, I’d be blessed…. Even Ansel Adams took her picture. You can go here to learn more. God rest her soul.

Why I studied Linguistics and other mysteries are explained on my new favorite blog: Language Log.

Okay, so the blog doesn’t actually explain my reasons, but the material covered there is so entertaining to me, I’m reminded how my “eyes lit up” when I cracked my first linguistics text in the summer of 1985 (ish). I later went on to study lots of great stuff in phonology, morphology, syntactics (you may ask how I could ever have given up transformational generative grammar for theology! Good question.), semantics, sociolinguistics and well, just words, words, words.

I became a descriptive grammarian rather than a prescriptive grammarian which made it a challenge to teach high school English. Noticing what was wrong and being intrigued by “why” it was rather than interested in telling a student how to fix it isn’t the most effective stance for the composition instructor to take, you know.

Anyway, love that blog. Any blog that can actually have this: post post post toast post toast post toast post toast post as an entry title has got something going for it.

Here’s the Story of the Day:

“Most people don’t know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don’t get too comfortable & fall asleep & miss your life.”

—————————————–

“We need to practice responsible praying. It’s a waste of time praying for something that’s no longer real” David Allen in the Dallas News.

My question: Is it? A waste of time, I mean. Just checking.

—————————————-

And now for somthing that really is a waste of time: mrpicassohead

Rapping for Jesus? Praying with Puffy? Check out the news….

The 23rd Psalm

The Lord is all that, I need
For nothing
He allows me to chill.
He keeps me from being heated
And allows me to breathe easy.
He guides my life so that
I can represent and give
Shouts out in his Name.
And even though I walk through
The Hood of death,
I don’t back down
For you have my back.
The fact that you have me covered
Allows me to chill.
He provides me with back-up
In front of my player-haters
And I know that I am a baler
And life will be phat
I fall back in the Lord’s crib
For the rest of my life.

Inculturation or something else?

CNN.com – Talking tombstones bear messages from the grave – Jul 8, 2004

Um, well, of course I want one…. Can I record someone elses voice, though. Mine’s all nasally….

brought to you viaElliot Bougis

a little humor for the day from beliefnet

Entrance Exam

A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An angel (or deva) stops them and asks, “Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?”

The Christian replies, “My ancestors disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I killed, I lied, I cheated my wife and I was greedy. However, Jesus died for me and all my sins are forgiven. So I deserve to enter Heaven.”

“OK,” replies the Angel. “Sounds good, but I must give you an entrance examination before you can enter.” The Christian promptly agrees and the Angel asks him: “How do you spell God?” It is an easy question, and the Christian passes through the Gate.

Next came the Muslim, who says, “I did not do any especially good or evil things during my life but I was very devout. I prayed to God five times a day. So, I too should enter Heaven.” The Angel replies, “It sounds OK to me, but I have to give you a test also. How do you spell Allah?” The Muslim passes the test and enters Heaven.

Finally, it is the Buddhist’s turn. He tells the Angel, “I’ve done all the good things in my life and I followed Buddha’s five precepts: I never killed, I donated to charities, I meditated every day, and I never cheated my boss nor my customers.” The Angel replies, “That is very good, but there are no exceptions. You must pass the entrance test also in order to get in.” Thinking that the test should be simple, the Buddhist happily agrees.

The Angel then asks him: “How do you spell Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva?”

BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize. Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via email and others spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown — but we thank them.

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