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A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER…
FASTER…
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP….
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
on his heels, as the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops!
This here – this is sentence diagramming which I learned how to do in graduate school. I didn't diagram this sentence, but understand how and why it was done.
This has meaning for me.
look, the world's a mess . . . mercury is in retrograde (so I hear) and a little country humor and knitting kitsch couldn't hurt, right?
Sister Christer 